SURPRISE, SURPRISE…

“Surprise, surprise, the unexpected hits you between the eyes,
It’s laughter, love and joy in disguise
And all the wealth can’t bring us what it buys…”

These lyrics to the 1989 Cilla Black song describe exactly how I felt after last Friday`s “Hopping with a hubby” Rebounder event at our studio, and ever since I have wanted desperately to write about the wonder of life`s unexpected sweet little surprises…Because that is exactly what that evening was – one huge, delightful unexpected pot of gold on a normal, dreary, Ermelo winter`s evening…

The event was actually organised only two days before on the spur of the moment – I wanted to give my Challenge members the opportunity of an extra session, and I very much wanted to break the workout routine a little – the same schedule week in and week out can so easily bore the mind and numb the heart, you know.  I also thought there would be no harm in inviting the husbands, boyfriends and sons…As much as I always try to live by the words of Brian Tracy, that “positive expectations are the mark of the superior personality”, I also knew that it was Friday evening, after all, and I realistically thought that all the plus-ones would be dragged to the studio in their blue t-shirts much against their own free will.

My expectations did not match the reality…88 people pitched.  Perky and punctually. In fact, they all started to arrive at the studio more than an hour early, and by 17:40, 40 minutes before our official starting time, everyone was present!  Words fall short to describe the atmosphere at our studio on that evening – there was excitement, laughter, smiles, energy and cheers, and it was amazing to experience the men’s open-mindedness and receptiveness to the moves and music.  The cherry on top, however, was when we put the rebounders away and invited the men to each take a weighted hula.  I was blown away – without a moment’s hesitation they each grabbed a hula hoop and, instantly, almost all of them managed the hooping technique, flawlessly!  It was incredible!

I will always treasure the memories of that eventful, surprising evening. Surprising, indeed!… Most of us love surprises – they are the perfect way to add spark to a dull week and make fun memories with friends and family.  We spend so much time going through the motions, struggling with the past and worrying about the future.  Surprise is wonderful because it pulls us into the moment and forces us to experience the NOW.  We know what surprise feels like, but really, what is it?

In their book “Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected”, Tania Luna and Leeann Renninger explains that surprise is our instant reaction whenever we face something unexpected.  It could be as simple as a bee landing on your shoulder or as life-changing as winning the lottery, and in my case – Rebounding on a Friday evening with 88 ecstatic people!  Apparently surprise always unravels in four stages –

• Freeze:  We’re stunned by the experience – this often comes as a gasp.
• Find:  We try to figure it out.
• Shift:  It changes our perspective because it introduces us to something new.
• Share:  We often feel compelled to tell others about it…

Surprise is also one of the seven basic emotions that influence our lives.  What makes it special, though, is that it enhances our other emotions, so they become more memorable.

Did you know why it’s so easy to surprise babies and small children?  It’s because throughout our lives, as we learn more and grow older, we become less easy to surprise simply because we’ve seen so much before.  Basically, the human brain is a prediction machine – it`s normal behaviour.  All around us there are constants in life and thank the universe for that.  We don`t want gravity to suddenly have a bad mood. Or for the sun to move closer to the earth, know what I mean? So, as much as we all love sweet surprises, most of us like to be in control – we want to know what`s going to happen, what`s the weather going to be like or what`s on the menu of the new restaurant in town, and then before we know it, we Google away the sweet delight the situation might bring…  

Therefore, I wanted to urge you this week to become more open to life’s lurking surprises.  To realise that within the fleeting fragment of every new and unknown experience, that’s where surprises unfold, and we all need to look with a curious mind and a welcoming heart more often.

…But then something happened.  On Saturday morning I received a WhatsApp from someone very dear to my heart, explaining calmly that on Friday their family received some disturbingly bad news that came as a very unpleasant surprise.  And that made me stop dead in my tracks, for I realised that this week’s blog post couldn’t end on this note…

Here I was, rambling on about embracing the sweet surprises of everyday life by changing your routine, taking more risks and greeting the day with a curious mind instead of an expectant one… And for a moment I was forgetting the other side of the surprise coin; that sooner or later the world throws some inevitable bad surprises at us, too.

I think it was the calm, accepting tone of my friend’s voice that touched me so deeply – I detected no anxiety or rebelliousness, and it made me think of another quote from Luna and Renninger’s book:  “We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most ALIVE when they are not…”

I realised that the greatest art in life is saying yes to the surprising reality of life – the things we cannot change.  “I like the serendipitous surprises of reality”, wrote the American author Lawrence Wright after the tragedy of 9/11.  “That doesn’t mean you are ambivalent or do not care.  Rather you are less attached to outcomes, given your passive state of anticipation…”

Mari, thank you for teaching me on this day to be patient above all else, thank you for showing me that no matter what life throws at us, it’s possible to stay resilient, strong and beautiful.  In one message you have taught me that accepting sweet and sour surprises with a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world.

May you find solace and peace in these words of pastor Rick Warren: “What gives me the most hope every day is God’s grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God…”

Mirna