SAVING YOURSELF FIRST

Last week we were shocked about the incident at Pick N Pay, when a traffic cop, yes, a traffic cop of all people, bumped into a standing vehicle and drove off!  I mean, really, did he truly think he was going to get away with it?!  It made me think of the famous quote by actor Sean Penn in the movie Carlito’s way: “There’s only one rule: save your own ass…”

“Absurd!”, we want to yell.  But have you forgotten about the time you ate your little sister`s ice cream and pretended not to know about it?  What about that time when you accidentally shattered your husband’s favourite beer glass and pretended to be just as shocked as he was…?  Yes, like it or not, we, humans, we all have the tendency to duck and move out of a meddling situation.

…This is NOT what this weekly is about…hear me out…I recently came upon this extraordinary quote from the young author, Charlotte Eriksson: “No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Take yourself out for dinner. Dress up for no one but yourself and simply feel nice. It’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.”

…Which immediately made me think of our Winter Challenge…We are in week 8 of our Ultimate You 12-week Winter Challenge – although the body assessments are not compulsory, 106 Challenge members have committed themselves voluntarily to this body transformation part of our Challenge… I have never taken for granted this huge responsibility and privilege of being part of women`s journeys in weight-loss and has the greatest admiration for every woman willing to share her personal struggles and dreams with me. Weight loss is not a simple feat and I have really learned these six important things:

1.  The path to a slimmer you is never a straight line – there are always ups and downs.  Even if you do everything right, weight loss is not linear.
2. Life always happens, causing your inner critic to show up and making you think you can’t do it.
3. Every woman needs to have more compassion with herself – we need to come from a place of self-love and self-acceptance in order to become successful.
4. Other people will always try to sabotage your efforts, with questions like “don`t you like my cooking?” or “you`re getting way too skinny…”
5. I believe women with weight struggles need to take a serious look at their relationship with food and need to deal with the deeper issues that drove them to weight gain in the first place.
6. Only you can save your own ass – literally.  No one can do it for you.  Whether you are a housewife, stay-at-home mother, businesswoman or student – when your Visceral Fat is 20, your ass (and your organs) needs some serious saving – and unfortunately it`s only you, yourself that can change that. 

It all comes down to saving yourself, first.  Think of it this way for a second -When you’re on an airplane and the flight attendant is explaining the safety rules, what do they say about the oxygen mask? Make sure you put yours on before you attempt to help put on someone else’s mask. There’s logic in that which I didn’t understand when I first started flying. In fact, I thought those instructions were backwards. It made sense that I would try to save my child or my significant other first. The problem is you may pass out before you can get theirs secure, putting both lives in jeopardy. This is such an important metaphor for life. 

In his New York bestseller “In the garden of thoughts”, Dodinsky writes:  “Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”  So often, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.

But most of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first.  Maybe it’s because we were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves.  I have really come to believe that saving your own ass implies changing your self-care misconceptions:

• We think self-care means being selfish.  It’s not: taking care of ourselves is in fact the opposite, for it strengthens us and enables us to support our loved ones better.
• We confuse rescuing with caring – this has been a hard truth for me to face.  I have an overwhelming desire to help women lose weight, but I have also come to realise that they need to WANT to change.
• We don’t realise our worth – yes, I’m afraid it’s that whole self-love thing again, but it`s true.  If we can become more confident in our love for ourselves and treat ourselves as if we are worthy, then that is what we will attract back.

Okay, so what does saving my own ass look like in real life?

Ahh, of course it looks different from person to person, and you`ll need to listen to your inner voice to find out what makes YOU content.  But maybe this list will help☺.  For me, saving your own ass means:

• PRAYING OFTEN
• EXERCISING EVERY DAY
• Eating three to five healthy meals a day, avoiding sugar fixes.
• Doing something you enjoy every day.
• Spending time with positive people.
• Setting healthy boundaries – saying no more often.
• Identifying your negative self-talk and changing it…
• Pausing before reacting – do I really want to do this?
• Getting one thing done every day and patting yourself on the back for it.
• Looking after your body, skin, hair, feet, teeth and nails.
• Being grateful.
• Laughing and smiling more.
• Having more fun.
• Being your own best friend.
• Prioritizing your needs and spending time alone.
• Being your authentic self – and not what others want you to be.
• Getting enough sleep.
• Being patient with yourself.
• Starting to believe in yourself more.

I know what you’re thinking…It’s blah blah blah general knowledge…But, believe me, saving your own ass means to genuinely love yourself first.  When you love who YOU are, your relationships will be healthier, and your life will be happier. Self-love sets the standard in how we allow others to treat us and how we treat ourselves. Your happiness and well-being are important. But only you can protect it by always valuing who you are!     

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company”, said the famous Belgian fashion designer Diane von Furstenburg.

 Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.  You don`t have to find yourself, you should just let yourself in.  Act as if what you do makes a difference.  Because it does…

Yours in fitness

Mirna

082 779 0507