WE ALL FALL DOWN…

The moment she walked into the studio I just knew it was her – the sweet-talking woman with the kind face and the Springbok rugby jersey pretended to be sincere.  Yes, she looked genuine and innocent and desperate and she promised to transfer the money immediately into my bank account…she just needed the cash for a medical emergency… Immediately.  But obviously, I didn’t oblige.  Her bad reputation had preceded her.  I knew exactly who she was.  For the past few months many ignorant residents in our town have been hit hard by this fraudster.  She takes money from anyone and everyone and promises to pay it back as soon as possible, but she seldom does…

I have thought long and hard about touching on this topic – after all, this weekly piece of writing is supposed to be uplifting and inspiring.  What good would come of this?  But wait, maybe there`s more to the story.  There`s always more to a story…

HER story is one of addiction…She is a “gambleholic”, and despite the fact that her winning streak has ended many moons ago and left her penniless, the gnawing urge to gamble stays.  I once heard someone say that gambling sucks out your soul – it certainly has hers. 

Although most of us have been trained to use more forgiving language when talking about addiction, we still call it a disease.  We say that people with addiction should be helped, not blamed.  But deep down, so many of us still have trouble avoiding the thought that they could stop if they just tried harder…

“Surely, I would do better in their situation”, we think to ourselves.  “Just walk away”, we want to shout at them.  And while we are so busy judging them, we don’t even realise that most of us are “holics” too!  In his book “Recover:  Freedom from our addictions”, actor Russel Brand says: “There are all kinds of addicts.  We all have pain.  And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.  We have been taught that freedom is the freedom to pursue our petty, trivial desires.  Real freedom is freedom FROM our petty, trivial desires…”

We think the addicts of the world are people that are addicted to drugs, alcohol, pain killers or gambling – we have also all heard of kleptomania (compulsive stealing) and pyromania (compulsive setting of fires), but there is really such a thing as aquaholics (persons addicted to water), computer-holics, tattooaholics and even workoutaholics!  (Which people very fondly like to call me☺).  No, seriously, among the array of addictions, exercise may be unique in one respect: It’s almost universally viewed as virtuous.  Drink or smoke too much, and friends start to worry.  Exercise too much, and everyone envies your dedication. 

It’s crazy, but it’s the scary truth – people can become addicted to almost anything, even working out!  When you binge-eat crappy food, watch Netflix the whole day, constantly check your social media profiles or go on shopping sprees – it releases chemicals of happiness and joy in the brain, and voila, an addiction can easily be born.

Dr Nora Volkow, Director of the Addiction Education Society says that the messy truth about addiction is that it lies somewhere in between choice and compulsion.  Addictive cravings pull one’s choices toward the craved object, like a psychological kind of gravity.  And, even for those who have successfully quit, there’s always a risk of the addiction returning.  We all know that the talented artist, Amy Winehouse, died on 23 July 2011 at the age of 23, of an overdose of alcohol.  In a touching biography, “Amy, my daughter”, her father Mitch wrote: “While she was in recovery her addiction was doing push-ups in the parking lot…”

“Every day is a battle”, Demi Lovato said in her documentary, Simply Complicated.  “I’m sorry for the fans I lost, who watched me fall again. I wanna be a role model but I’m only human”, the superstar sings in her hit-single “Sober”.  

When it comes to living a balanced life, I guess we have to disagree with actress Wae West’s who said: “Too much of a good thing is wonderful…”  Too much cream in our coffee is bad, too many people in one room is suffocating, too much self-confidence makes you narcissistic – and sometimes all the “too much” scenarios in our lives are the ones that lead to addictions.

Why did I hesitate to write about all this?  Because I like my stories to all have happy endings.  Doing the research about addictions for this blog has taught me two things:  One: Never say “Once an addict, always an addict”, for there ARE feel-good recovery stories.  Lots of them.  I KNOW people who have battled and beaten addiction, I KNOW parents whose children have battled and overcame addiction. And two:  Stop judging addicts.  You don’t know the whole story, and who knows?  You may be an addict yourself.

We live in an age of addiction, a condition so epidemic that unless you are fortunate enough to be an extreme case, you probably don’t even know that you have it.  When was the last time YOU thought about the unhealthy habits and attachments that are holding your life together?  Are you unconsciously dependent on food? What about the numb, constant perusal of your phone?  Or your self-centredness?   Maybe it’s time for a little self-reflection.  And total honesty.  And the belief that it IS possible to reprogram our minds.   

When it comes to bad habits and tendencies life is like our childhood game “Ring-a-Ring o’ Roses” – So rather hush.  Hush.  Because at some point we all fall down… the question is – are we willing to get up?

Yours in fitness

Mirna

082 779 0507