In her book, “An ember in the ashes”, Sabaa Tahir writes: “Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. Such moments are tests of courage, of strength.”
I have always been a firm believer that I should practise what I preach, and especially, that my Blog posts should be about themes and principles that I apply to my own life…Last Wednesday afternoon, life decided it was time to test me a little in this regard…
First, one of our diligent Zoom members, Colette, who was in Ermelo on business, came to collect her Winter Challenge certificate. She expressed her gratitude for being part of our classes, tapped herself playfully on the stomach, and asked me to consider writing a Blog about the topic that the actress Wendy Speake addresses in her book, “The 40-day Sugar fast”. “Eish! I can unfortunately not do that”, I smilingly told Colette. “Me going without any form of sugar for 40 days? Impossible!”
After she had left, I was pondering what to write about in this week’s Blog…I knew this had to be a special one – I can sense how my members are all in need of a little encouragement to find a second wind to map their way forward during these last, hectic months of 2024. I stumbled on an intriguing article by journalist Catherine Plano, “Twenty seconds of insane courage…”
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid”? Plano asks her readers.
And then my phone rang…Yes, right at that very moment. It was Lelandie Rossouw from FNB, telling me that they are hosting their annual “Women in Business” event at Kralinbergh next Thursday, and she casually asked whether I would be willing to address the attendees about fitness…
My first instinct was to say “Thank you, but no thank you…” Things are going to be hectic next week at the studio with all the body assessments kicking off for our Summer Challenge, Nicole’s kitchen tea is coming up, and, of course, there’s Nina’s arrival lurking unexpectedly in the very near future.
I told Lelandie that I would let her know before the end of the day, and then I realized – this was exactly one of those “20 seconds of courage” moments, and to be true to myself and my members and my readers, I had to say “yes”. To be fearless in the pursuit of what sets my soul on fire – this is undoubtedly one of those moments and opportunities!
But let me first explain the “20 seconds of courage” principle. The concept comes from the Matt Damon movie, “We bought a zoo”. I remember watching the movie a few years ago – it wasn’t the best film I have ever seen, but I clearly remember that moving moment of Matt Damon’s character, Benjamin Mee…
As Benjamin, a widower, sits on the ground in one of the animal enclosures with his teenage son, who has finally just opened up about a vulnerable moment with a girl, he says, “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage… literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery, and I promise you, something great will come of it.”
Later in the movie we learn that the “20 seconds of insane courage” Benjamin is referring to, is the time he met Dylan’s mom:
He saw her sitting in a restaurant; she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He didn’t know what to do because he had never talked to a stranger like that before, but he figured all he needed was twenty seconds. He set the timer on his watch. He went into the restaurant, and almost lost his nerve now that he was close enough to touch her – but he still had 15 seconds of bravery left. He said, “Excuse me” and she turned to him. He said to her, “Why would a woman who looks like you ever talk to a man like me?” But she smiled and said, “Why not?”
…One decision changed everything. It made me think – we are all wired to avoid things that scare us – it’s in our DNA to shy away from uncomfortable conversations, activities that might embarrass us, and events that are anxiety-inducing.
Is 20 seconds of courage a magic formula which will change everything? Of course not. But it can be a powerful tool for all of us, for initiating action, especially in situations where fear or self-doubt might otherwise hold us back. It’s about embracing one brief moment of bravery, where you push aside fear, take a deep breath, and dive in.
In her book with the same title, Julia Schemmer says that by using 20 seconds to do something you normally would have avoided, or saying YES when you normally say NO, three amazing things happen: If it doesn’t work out, you learn that the world didn’t end, and you are more likely to try new things in the future. If it DOES work out, your life is better because of your targeted bravery – a relationship, a new job, or even something as simple as a new fitness class…this is you, taking action, rather than waiting for fate to intervene.
And, you never ever have to wonder, “what if…”
“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway”, said the legendary American actor, John Wayne.
But how does implementing 20 seconds of courage into our lives work? Psychologists say that by focusing on just 20 seconds of action, you reduce the time your mind has, to build up fear. Once you start, momentum often carries you forward. Also, the small, manageable time frame of 20 seconds lowers the barrier to action, making it more likely you’ll follow through. Does it make any sense to you?
20 seconds of insane courage. 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery to say “No”, or “Yes.” Most of the time, whatever we’re avoiding is patiently waiting for us to muster the courage to simply start – it’s scary, and hard, and vulnerable, but starting is for sure the hardest part. Ask any skydiver, scuba diver, heart surgeon, or speaker, and they will tell you the first step is the hardest. After that, every step gets easier.
And not only does it get a little easier, but we also frequently discover that our fears were unfounded. Normally, everyone says, “that went better than I ever expected…”
Hopefully I’ll be able to tell you that my speech at Kralinbergh had been better than I ever expected!” And, Colette, regarding that 40-day Sugar fast…Maybe, just maybe, that will be my next “20 seconds of courage” endeavour this summer…
Lao Tzu once said: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
A life where you actually might get what you want and deserves, begins with 20 seconds of courage. Make the step. Approach that person. Sign up for that class, or fitness Challenge, or speaking engagement. Say “no thank you” for that second glass of wine. Have that uncomfortable conversation you’ve been avoiding. Buy that Zoo!
What’s the worst thing that could happen, hmm?
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507