Atomic habits!

I have always felt very proud of the way our Fitness Challenges are conducted, but recently I made a bad judgement error – I had asked Challenge participants to write down 6 goals on their entry forms…Yes, a mighty six🙈.

It would have been okay if the goals were set for the whole year, but no, members had 6 weeks to see how far they could go in being compliant…Sorry, girls!

Had it been goals like remembering to water the orchid with an ice cube, meeting up with old friends, or getting more sleep, it would have been reasonable, but many members set out to change quite a few major habits during those 42 days…For many the vows ended in disappointment…

Why am I writing about this boring topic again??? Because we’ve all been there.   We have all experienced how big goals can sometimes be more burdensome than motivational, because they require daunting effort to accomplish and sustain in our busy lives.  During the past 20 Challenges we have hosted, I have time and again experienced how falling short of a lofty goal creates a negative spiral of discouragement…And sometimes the feeling of failure is heart-breaking.

It almost feels like landing on that “go to jail” block in Monopoly – going to jail, directly to jail, not passing GO and, definitely, not collecting $200.

In the game of Monopoly, it only takes one bad roll of the dice to quickly find yourself back in the clink.  And you know, the same is true for any area of your life you’re interested in changing.  Or shall I rather say, it seems to be true?  As high achievers, we’re programmed to “go big or go home” and to “set big, hairy, audacious goals.”  And when we fall short, when we stumble, when we have a bad day, we feel like everything has gone to waste.

Change, transformation, alteration…however one may choose to name it, we all have personal behaviours we wish we could adjust, stop, or start.  If you don’t, you should!  Alas, we all know too well – change is hard!  Why?

Because changing one habit involves so many other small-scale changes that you have to be aware of and be prepared for.  Let’s say you want to change the way you eat.  You need to choose a diet regimen, consult a nutritionist, restrict calories.  You have to change the way you shop for groceries and also change when and how much you eat.  If your goal is to drink more water, you must stop buying soda and juice.  If you want to walk more, you should not park near the building, etc etc etc. 

Another reason why change is difficult, is that we may be comfortable right where we are, and a little scared of the unknown.  We also may not be really convinced about how much better life will be if we make the change…And then, the biggest culprit of not being able to change, is impatience.  When we don’t see results fast, we are often not incentivized to continue the effort to change.  And without effort, there is no result.  Giving up too quickly is why most healthy eating plans don’t work, why many people don’t work out regularly, and why many people feel stuck.  Sigh.

Depressing thought, yes?  That’s why you need to keep reading.

…I have recently learned a very reassuring truth from James Clear in his book “Atomic habits”, which has helped me a lot in the way I perceive my own goals.  (I am also not surprised why his book is currently in the top 10 on Exclusive Book’s shelves.)  Clear writes:

“We often expect progress to be linear. At the very least, we hope it will come quickly.  In reality, the results of our efforts are often delayed. It is  not until months or years later that we realize the true value of the previous work we have done. This can result in a “valley of disappointment” where people feel discouraged after putting in weeks or months of hard work without experiencing any results. However, this work was not wasted. It was simply being stored. It is only until much later that the full value of previous efforts is revealed.”

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it”, Clear continues.  “Yet, at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it— but all that had gone before.”

In Monopoly, there’s one “get out of jail free” card in both the Chance and Community Chest.  Any player can use the card to leave jail on their next turn.  And you and me?  What is our key to a sense of accomplishment when it comes to our habits and goals?  Having resilience…To allow ourselves to have slip-ups, bad days, and moments of failure, and to remind ourselves that it’s all part of the gradual process of change.

In his book “The power of habit” best-selling author, Charles Duhigg, says: “If you believe you can change – if you make it a habit – the change becomes real.”

Tomorrow is week 4 of our Winter Challenge, and all 85 members still have one similar goal in mind – to change for the better!  It’s my deepest wish that they will manage to form one, or two, atomic habits in the 9 weeks that are left!  That’s a reasonable time for changes to happen. The determining factor will be Duhigg’s truth – belief. 

All our participants have already acknowledged that they have something they need to change.  Now it’s up to them to believe that change is indeed possible, and accepting the fact that change is necessary for their betterment.  And the best news? Good habits, once established, are just as hard to break as are bad habits. Isn’t this thought amazing?  It feels empowering to know that our habits are what we choose them to be. 

In our fitness environment, it’s not always about what happens during the workout. It’s about being the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts. It’s easy to train when you feel good, but it’s crucial to show up when you don’t feel like it— even if you do less than you hope.  Doing the latter may not improve your performance, but it will definitely reaffirm your identity.

…The irony through all this, is that winners and losers have the same goals.  The difference is this – a winner hates losing enough to change.  A loser hates changing enough to lose…

Luckily, we don’t need a lucky card from the Community Chest to evolve and break free from bad habits.  But, the most practical way to change who we are, is to change what we do. 

Yours in fitness

Mirna

082 779 0507