Monkey see, monkey do…

First things first – Happy Father`s day to all our dads, and especially to all the fathers of our children – you are our rocks, our resting places, our reassurance, our shade and our shields.  This morning as I was finishing all the admin of the week, I was thinking – Schalk must surely be the only dad doing the dishes on this Sunday morning, just as he does every other Sunday… Schalk, when I look at you I think that you know being a father is real, it`s not just owning a name… Thank you…

…In a week where our Challenge members and I have heard the “Dance monkey” song almost a thousand times, can you really blame me for bringing up this topic🤣?

Our members (voluntarily) took part in a Tiktok Dance Challenge as part of our Winter Challenge, and everyone`s version of spelling `MIRNAS` with the prescribed dance move compilations had to be sent in by yesterday at noon.  I know they will forgive me for sharing these masterpieces with the world…I am bursting with pride!

It may sound funny, but the “monkey see, monkey do” phrase is one I often use when welcoming new members in the studio – especially in a Bootybarre, step or Cardio Fun class.  It`s kind of my way to put the newcomers at ease and reassure them that they will be okay with the unfamiliar workout and moves and – “just follow my lead, okay?  Everything will be fine.” 🥰

Did you know that the “monkey see” saying goes as far back as 1920?  It started in America and it refers to the learning of a process without an understanding of how and why it works.

We tend to think that the “monkey see, monkey do” phrase is only applicable to good parenting skills.  That we should not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk, because our kids learn better by watching what we`re doing rather than listening to what we`re saying.  As the legendary French writer, Alexandre Dumas said two hundred years ago: “Instruction is good for a child; but example is worth more.”

Yes, as parents we know that by modelling our behaviour, our children learn not only how to be polite in society, but also how to resolve conflict, act in relationships, use (or not use) alcohol, maintain a healthy diet and much, much more simply by watching what we do.

Imitation is a basic, automatic process, and scientists have long ago explained this brain function as mirror neurons – these are special neurons that fire not only when you do a particular action, but especially when you observe someone doing that action.  When I was in grade 9, I found myself mimicking John McEnroe`s serve.  Yes, I know, that very unusual service motion of almost turning his back to the net!  I remember how my cousin idealized Eric Clapton`s guitar style and was constantly annoying the neighbours by playing at deafening volumes.

We are also familiar with the phenomenon of subconsciously mimicking other people – of sitting in a waiting room, for example, when, all of a sudden, someone yawns and before you know it a wave of yawns has worked its way around the room.  We also know that it`s almost impossible not to laugh when everybody else is.  There have been laughing epidemics, there are laughing churches and laugh therapies – all because we love to laugh and can`t resist joining those around us.  Again, “monkey see, monkey do.”

But last night I stumbled upon the e-book of Jonah Berger, a well-known marketing professor and international bestselling author of “Invisible Influence”, and realized that the “monkey see, monkey do” principle involves so much more.  Berger explores how people are influenced by group think – how we either go with the crowd, or against it – but in one way or another, we are influenced by those around us.

If this sounds technical or boring, just bear with me for a paragraph or two…Berger differentiates peer “influence” from peer “pressure”.  He explains that it sounds as though a group of people is consciously attempting to convince a person to do something whereas peer “influence” is invisible – there is no overt attempt to convince another person – but this invisible power is incredibly strong.

Five weeks ago, I would have read this and shrugged it off – then our Winter Challenge started, and 88 women have turned my world right on its head with their enthusiasm, creativity, and confidence.  Our classes have been filled to the brim, week after week these women have sent me videos of their Mini-Challenges, and each week more and more have joined in.  They have definitely proved Berger`s theory correct, and I am convinced that it`s group think that have kept us all on track these last six weeks – coming to the studio, making better food choices and staying positive.

“Just like atoms bouncing off each other, our social interactions are constantly shaping who we are and what we do”, writes Berger.  The 19^th century German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche spoke of human beings as having a sort of herd mentality – he noted that it seems built into our nature.

But why compare us to the monkeys?  I found a Blog on the web where someone described an old monkey matriarch with a curious drinking style.  Instead of the typical slurping with her lips from the surface, she`d dip her entire underarm in the water, then lick the hair on her arm.  Her children started doing the same, and then her grandchildren.  The entire family became easy to recognise.

Then there`s also the familiar story about the 5 monkeys in a cage who learnt to not climb a ladder to avoid being sprayed by cold water.  Long after the water stopped spraying, the “experienced” monkeys prevent new monkeys from climbing the ladder to avoid being sprayed.

But what am I trying to say today?  The way our bodies are influenced by surrounding bodies is one of the mysteries of human existence, but one that provides the glue that holds societies together.  And I am convinced that our group fitness environment has taken up this old herd instinct up a notch.  It goes beyond the tendency of a mass of individuals simply galloping in the same direction, crossing the river at the same time.

It`s finding the motivation to wake up at 4.30 to attend class at 5.10.  It`s nailing that last round of Tabata even though your legs are burning, simply because those around you are powering through.  It`s convincing your entire family or co-workers to join in a “Dance monkey” routine and finishing that last set of 16 in the Power Pump class even though your arms are shaking.

And it`s about much more than the “monkey see, monkey do” principle.  Scientists call it the “Köhler Effect” – the idea that no one wants to be the weakest link in a group, and it translates to pushing yourself harder when working out with people who are fitter than you.  (Researchers at Kansas State University found that people who exercised with someone they thought was better than them increased their workout intensity by 200 percent!)

The moral of the story is that catching good vibes from those around you is a contagion.  Just being around positive people can be energising, motivating, and inspiring!  My tribe has reminded me that we should never underestimate the power of “Monkey see, monkey do” – that ours is an incredible strong invisible force.  These are the people who have shaped me, whose loyalty is stronger than steel and whose integrity is hard as nails.

“You don’t lead people by what you say to them; you lead them by what they see you do”, said Israelmore Yaivor in “The great handbook of quotes”.  “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means”, said Albert Einstein many years ago.

May we strive to be the light and inspiration that others see.  May we not forget that the deeds we do may be the only sermon some people will hear today.  And, above all, may we not be so consumed with the exploits of others that we completely miss The One we were truly designed to imitate. 

Yours in fitness

Mirna

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