The eccentric, versatile Hollywood actor Johnny Depp may not be the best role model in the world, but he touched upon a great truth when he said: “Breathe…It’s only a bad day, not a bad life…”
Bad days…We’ve all had them in this clunky day-to-day world that we call life. Sometimes, the stars align in our favour…☺ Other times, they simply don’t. Some days are golden. You wake up, your hair is perfect, you feel great about your body and it’s sunny outside, for a change. You get to drink your coffee before it gets cold and everyone can find their shoes when it’s time to get out the door. You diligently drink your 8 glasses of water, and you visit the grocery store with a finite list and not let the food choose YOU…
But then, there are days that suck out loud. We’ve all had those bad days where it feels like no matter what you do, nothing is going your way. You sleep through your alarm, you open a container of yogurt to find that a mouldy science product has started growing inside. You jump in the shower only to discover that there is no hot water, and step in a puddle while wearing your new shoes…by the time you get home late afternoon and look at yourself in the mirror, you think: “Did I really look like this all day?!” It’s on days like these that you can’t decide whether you need a hug, a mega Americano or 2 weeks in bed listening to Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” 24/7. Or, you know exactly what you want! Stressed isn’t spelled backwards desserts without good reason. And chocolate doesn’t ask questions, it understands, know what I mean?! But does it cure a bad day? Nope. As the American cartoonist Bill Watterson describes it:
“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help…”
When asked in an interview if there is any science behind why a bad day occurs, psychologist Peter Bentley, writer of “Why Sh*t Happens: The Science of a Really Bad Day” responded: “Yes, and it’s our own fault, I’m afraid! The statistics show that people who believe in bad luck will have more accidents on Friday the 13th. Those who have a negative attitude are more likely to endow normal little mishaps with some mystical significance – “It was Friday 13th, so I was bound to stick my fingers with superglue” or “Accidents happen in threes, so after the first mishap the next two were inevitable.” Of course, it’s nonsense. It`s easy to focus on what`s going wrong instead of right. It`s easy to forget all the good, all the things you have. It`s easy to overlook all the people who are there for you. It`s easy to want to quit. It`s all so easy. The fact of the matter is – you and I have the ability to make a bad day exist if we believe it to exist.” BUT IT`S ONLY AS BAD AS YOU THINK IT IS…
No amount of money, problems or particular set of circumstances get to determine whether you and I have a good or bad day, only we do. Yes, some days are filled with immense joy and others with profound sorrow, some days are faced with passionate procrastination and others with abundant enthusiasm. We have limits as well as potential within each of our days. And okay, so maybe you didn’t get that promotion, maybe you’ve got a furious client, maybe you forgot something or lost your temper…We need lows to remind us how lucky we are when the highs roll around. Without our bad days, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate happiness. It`s not a perfect world…We`re not perfect…
So, if you are a New Year 2022 Challenge member, send Mirna a short WhatsApp message of what you feel most grateful for – even if you didn’t have the best week. You will receive an extra point if you send it before Sunday the 6th, at 20:00. Start with: “I feel grateful for… ”
A while ago, a coffee table book at Cups & Blossoms in Middelburg caught my eye – In “50 life lessons for life’s little detours”, Regina Brett states: “No one really has a bad life. NOT EVEN BAD DAYS…ONLY BAD MOMENTS…”
I remember one episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte was asked if she was always happy in her marriage. Her response was yes, even though her friends couldn’t figure out how that was. When she explained, she said, “Not all day every day, but every day.”
Think about this for a second – if you really look closely, you`ll find that even in the worst of days there are small moments of beautiful resonance: a small child starting a conversation with you in Milky Lane, inhaling the scent of a rose in your garden, filing that broken fingernail that you would have filed days ago if that finger belonged to one of your kids, really absorbing the kind words someone sent you on WhatsApp listening to the raindrops tap dance on the roof. Famous Canadian artist, Douglas Coupland, relates so beautifully how once, during a miserable day, he shared a hotel elevator with a bride in her veils, and how that small experience lifted his spirits and pulled him out himself.
I guess that’s why they are called moments, it`s because they don`t last very long. Nothing is permanently perfect. But there are perfect moments and the will to choose how you perceive them. The power of the moment is not in the moment itself. The power, actually, lies in us. We are our own griefs, our own “happinesses”, but we are also our own remedies.
I hate to hit you with a Harry Potter quote, but as Dumbledore once said: “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.”
We all have bad moments, times when the world weighs on us for so long it leaves us looking for an easy way out. But there are always beautiful moments too, when you think that no matter what happens next, you will remember and savour every last detail of that one minute forever…So, if you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit someone has been looking for. If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can – do more.
We are in the final week of our Challenge, I`m eagerly waiting to see how many participants will finish successfully… Most of them have proven once again how powerful the mere act of showing up is – despite bad days, in spite of experiencing bad moments.
“So, tell me, what is it YOU plan to do with your one wild and precious life”, Mary Oliver rhetorically asks in her poem “The Summer Day. Just show up. Keep on showing up. Don`t quit. Just be there for whatever life hands you. For when you are present, you can experience the pure beauty of life, even in the messiness of it. Because life is messy. It`s one big, beautiful mess…
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507