We are still in shock. When the news broke that Charlie Kirk had been fatally shot at Utah Valley University on September 10, 2025, it felt impossible to believe. A voice that thousands debated, argued with, admired, disagreed with – but never expected to lose – was brutally silenced. Charlie Kirk never whispered, he never watered it down, and he never asked for permission.
Charlie Kirk built his life and career on saying what he believed – loudly, consistently, and often controversially. Not everyone agreed with him. Not everyone liked him. But no one could deny that he was bold, fearless, and unashamed to stand for what he believed in. His own words echo louder now than ever:
“I want to be remembered for courage, for my faith. That would be the most important thing.”
That’s what most of us admired the most about Charlie Kirk – his love for Jesus, first and foremost. He was also a loving husband and father. He believed in open dialogue, and in being logically consistent. To me, the 31-year-old Charlie was the best example of someone being “unapologetically himself.”
Last week we talked about being “authentic.” And yes, authenticity matters. Being authentic is knowing who you are, and, living in alignment with that truth. But unapologetic takes it one bold step further…
Authentic is quiet confidence. Unapologetic is loud courage. Authentic says, “This is who I am.” Unapologetic says, “This is who I am – and I won’t shrink to make you comfortable.”
Authenticity is about being true to yourself, your values, and your story. It has a gentle, grounding tone. Unapologetic is about not seeking permission, not shrinking back, and not over-explaining. It’s fierce, defiant, and brave. Authenticity shares truth. Unapologetic owns that truth without softening it for others’ comfort.
Authentic says who you are. Unapologetic says how you show up. Authenticity is inward – “Am I aligned with who I really am?” Unapologetic is outward – “Am I showing up loudly, fully, visibly, without toning it down?”
Authenticity can exist quietly. Unapologetic demands presence. It’s not about smoothing the rough edges, dimming the bright colours, or toning down your laugh. It’s about showing up fully, even when others don’t understand. It’s about living in such a way that people may not always agree with – but they’ll always know exactly where you stand.
It’s the difference between existing and owning your existence. Between whispering and declaring.
Here’s the funny thing: the word sorry is probably the most common one I hear in our aerobics classes.
“Sorry, I missed that step.”
“Sorry, I can’t keep up.”
“Sorry, I’m sweating too much.”
“Sorry, I don’t have rhythm.”
“Sorry, ek moet nog my kop regkry…”
Yes, we all have a way of apologising for everything – our bodies, our habits, our mistakes, and sometimes even for just existing. And honestly? It’s exhausting!
Don’t get me wrong – unapologetic doesn’t mean tactless or rude. It’s not about throwing verbal grenades. And I’m definitely not saying that “a sorry” should never be uttered! (Haha…Imagine Talita and Quinita responding to my question mark after their absence from Bootybarre with a: “Yes, tannie Mirna, I overslept, and it is what it is, get over it!” 🤣 😆 😹)
…No, “sorry” has its place – when we’ve hurt, and when we’ve slipped. If you would ask my kids what the two most important phrases were that they were taught, I’m sure they’d answer without hesitation: ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Thank you.’ Those words carry weight. They shape humility, they grow gratitude, and they remind us, that kindness matters.
But here’s the heart of it – I also wanted Eswee and Mariné to learn how to live unapologetically. To walk boldly, to take up space, to never shrink their dreams to fit someone else’s comfort zone. And here’s the beauty: those two lessons aren’t opposites. Saying sorry and thank you doesn’t weaken you; it strengthens you. Because unapologetic living is not about arrogance – it’s about courage. It’s about refusing to apologize for who you are, while still honouring others with respect and gratitude. That’s where true freedom lies – boldness wrapped in kindness
And this is what I would like to emphasize today – how to live unapologetically. Not rudely. Not arrogantly. But with courage, humour, and truth. Like Charlie Kirk.
In her book, “Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing”, the sociologist Maha Jovanovic says we use “sorry” as a social lubricant – that we apologise because we want to be liked. We apologise because we’re afraid to offend. We apologise because standing out feels risky.
But here’s the problem: when you live in constant apology mode, you never give yourself permission to shine. You hold back your voice, your effort, even your joy – just in case someone else doesn’t approve.
I believe an aerobics class, especially, should be a no-apology zone. Because the very act of walking through that door is a declaration: “I’m here. I matter. I’m taking up my space. I’m trying. And that’s enough”.
Imagine if we stopped saying sorry for wearing the bright socks that make us happy, for laughing too loudly when we mess up a move, for being a beginner, and for trying again, and again, and again. We’d free up so much energy to actually live, instead of managing other people’s opinions.
Here’s what I’ve noticed: unapologetic people move differently. They don’t hide in the back. They don’t look around to check if they’re “too much.” They swing their arms, stomp their steps, and celebrate the effort, not just the outcome.
And it’s contagious! When one person dares to sing a long, clap off-beat and laugh, suddenly everyone else feels permission to loosen up too.
Unapologetic energy shifts the whole room.
Every stomp, every clap, every bead of sweat is proof that you’re showing up – fully, loudly, unapologetically you. You don’t need to apologize for being out of breath. That means you’re alive. You don’t need to apologize for needing heavier weights or lighter ones. That means you know your body.
Don’t apologize for your quirks, your voice, your shine. That’s your spark.
But let’s not romanticize it. Living unapologetically has its risks. People may misunderstand you. You might be labelled “too much”, or “too intense”. Charlie got more than his share of backlash. The difference it this: When your unapologetic stance is anchored in values – not ego – you can handle the criticism. It doesn’t crush you; it clarifies you. When you know your “why”, you don’t have to keep apologising for your “how”.
So…Take up your space. Stand at the front if you want to. Wear the neon if you feel like it. Own your place on that step, on that mat, in that life.
Because when you stop apologizing for who you are, you start living as who you are.
As Steve Marboli writes in his book, Unapologetically You: “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that’s the true essence of beauty.”
No more shrinking. No more disclaimers. No more whispering your life. Be bold. Be bright. Be messy. Be loud. Be strong.
Be unapologetically you. And have the courage to take up space…
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507
PS (Volgende week vier ons kleine Nina se eerste verjaarsdag in die Kaap, dan gaan daar nie ‘n Blog wees nie!)