I have a confession to make…I’ve never had a bucket list.
It’s not because I don’t have dreams, but it’s simply because I never stopped long enough to think about my own. Life moved fast – faith, family, the studio, challenges, people…I’ve poured years into others, helping them believe in their strength, their potential, and their stories. And it has been amazing!
But there’s also something else that made me give up on bucket lists – when we lost our mom to cancer, time changed shape for me. The illusion of ‘someday’ quietly slipped away, and life itself became urgent and precious. I learned that moments don’t wait; that joy must be gathered while it’s within reach. And, that the ordinary is extraordinary when seen through the eyes of loss.
I guess my dreams stopped living on paper, and started living in the now – not as a list, but as a way of being…
Don’t get me wrong – I have the greatest admiration for people with bucket lists. Michelle wants to take on the bungee jump at Bloukrans, throwing herself into 216 metres of open air. A few weeks ago I overheard Izelde when she told Melinda how she would love to visit the National Park in Canada – and I totally get it! People say there’s a silence that speaks louder than words – where snowcapped peaks pierce the sky, and emerald lakes mirror a world so pristine it feels sacred.
I truly admire people who dare to dream wildly and fill their bucket lists with daring, crazy, and bold adventures: Swimming with crocodiles in a protective cage in Darwin, dog sledding under the Northern Lights, spending the night in a transparent capsule on a cliff face in Peru, riding in a submarine to the ocean floor in Monterey Bay. Skydiving. Learning French. Travelling to 30 countries. Visiting the Niagara Falls…
…I couldn’t help but smile when Jeannine, a friend of mine from Pretoria, recently told me about her bucket list experience to row on the Orange River with her family…She anticipated the stillness between strokes, the quiet days, the campfires and fish eagles. Alas, the adventure was nothing short of traumatic for her 11-year-old son – the rapids, the heat, the long days with blistered hands. When it was all over, he looked at her with wide eyes and said: “Mommy, from now on, I first need to approve all your other bucket list ideas…”
Bucket lists are great, because humans need variety and out-of-the-comfort-zone moments. People with bucket lists have told me how those things help bring back excitement and variety into their lives…I think knowing that you have items on your list that are fun and thrilling, can really fill you with joy for the future, as well as delight for today…And it’s wonderful to dream, as long as the reason for your bucket list, is not only something to check off a list…
But still – the notion of collecting experiences has always struck me as rather hollow. A bucket list should not become a guilt-inducing to-do-list. I believe it should be a meaningful experience…If someone wants to go to the South Pole because it’s one of the last truly untouched places on Earth – excellent! Or, because few people reach that destination – awesome! Or even because they’ve always been fascinated by penguins – great! But if it won’t have any impact on you, or you’re doing it just to have done it, the experience will sit there in your mind like a lump of oatmeal in porridge.
In her book, “Just One Day”, the renowned author Gayle Forman says: “Don’t worry, I plan on living a long time.” “Why are you making a bucket list, then?” “Because if you wait until you’re really dying, it’s too late…”
Rather than dreaming of the end (which is what a bucket list is named for – things to do before you kick the bucket), I think we should view our wish lists as experiences we’d like to do or have, in order to live our best lives; lives aligned with our passion and purpose.
If I’m being brutally honest today, I have to admit that I’ve spent years cheering from the sidelines. Telling others: Climb the mountain! Run the race! Enter the Challenge! Lose the weight! Write the book! I’ve encouraged hundreds of women to fight for their dreams. I’ve witnessed transformations, tears, and triumphs. And I meant every single word I said…
What I didn’t always do, was turn that same energy inward.
Somewhere in the middle of coaching, teaching, supporting, and showing up for everyone else, I forgot to show up for me. And the one dream that always lingered – quietly, gently – was this: to write a book. Not for fame. Not for anyone else. Just for the girl inside me who needed to know that her story mattered too.
So, I tucked it away. Said things like, “One day.” Pushed it back with a smile and a shrug. Until now.
Something shifted this year. Maybe it’s age (hell no!). Maybe it’s watching others rise. Maybe it’s my oldest sister, Delien, who has nudged me to finally turn the dream into reality. Maybe. It doesn’t matter; I’m finally getting my book published!
This book is my mountain. My bucket list beckoning…
…What dream have you shelved, thinking it was too late, or too selfish, or too bold? What beckons your soul? What is calling your name?
Pause. Think. Dust it off. Look it in the eye. And begin. Show up for yourself. Whether it’s writing, painting, learning, running, healing, or starting again – do it scared. Do it small. But do it.
Because the woman who never had a bucket list is finally ticking off something.
And my hope? Is that you’ll do the same.
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507
PS (If you’re a Challenge member, please send me your bucket list dream before Sunday 20.00, so that I can nudge you too! Don’t have one? Send me a WhatsApp anyway to earn your extra point)