…Last Wednesday afternoon a woman walked into the studio – well-dressed, not over-friendly, a bit sceptical, and very much overweight. ”So, tell me”, she said, “this stuff you do here, does it make you lose weight?” “Do you eat pap?”, I asked. “Of course I eat pap!”, she answered resentfully. “I LOVE PAP!” (Sigh).
Another non-member phoned me on Thursday and made an appointment for an InBody assessment: “I don’t want to lose weight”, she said. “I only want a flat tummy…” “Girl”, I tried to say in a neutral tone of voice during her visit, “When your visceral fat is 13, whether you like it or not, you’ll unfortunately NEED to shed some weight, if you want to become ‘abs’-olutely fabulous…”
You might think it’s crazy to bring up the weighty matter of weight loss, right in the middle of winter. Maybe it is, if you’re one of those people who love the cold season, not because of the weather, but because of the fact, that in winter you don’t have to worry about sucking in your stomach.it is Maybe, if you prefer to hibernate from May to August just like an American black bear. Maybe it is, if you believe that extra layer of fat will keep you warm when the heating fails. Maybe it is, when you allow your bulky sweaters and layers to hide those extra kilograms, so you forget they are even there. And maybe, when you confuse the lack of vitamin D with the need for more doughnuts…
But, when you are part of a long fitness Challenge, like we are, at this very moment, you don’t even think about the fact that it’s winter. (Really, I’m serious, ask anyone of the 67 participants). Everyone is too focused – signing in for workouts, getting enough sessions, and, striving to reach those much sought-after goals they set out to accomplish. And, for most of our participants that means only one thing – losing body fat.
The topic of weight loss is, in fact, never inappropriate or untimely when you are a fitness instructor. When I think about this, I cannot even recall one instance of any woman who had ever wanted to pick up body fat. Improving muscle tone, well yes, sure, of course, but that would still imply dropping body fat. A recent study I found online suggests that more than 60% of gym members join to lose weight. For most people that’s a key factor for their attendance, and the primary focus of their training programs…
The problem is, thousands of people are under the impression that, to lose weight, you should simply sign up for that Fitness Challenge, and pay those membership fees diligently. And like, the woman I described earlier, many believe that exercise alone will do the trick. It will do a LOT, like in a LOT, but it won’t do everything. As the great Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde” says: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.” But we all know that nutrition plays a key role.
We all know, too, that when it comes to weight loss, the struggle IS real. And it also doesn’t get easier when you’re older. In our 20s, weight just fell off when we cut the “vetkoek burgers” from our favourite local on a Friday night in Hatfield. Nope. Not anymore. We also learn the hard way that 95 percent of diets fail, and most people regain their weight in one to five years or earlier. The struggle IS real.
“Look who’s talking!”, I can almost hear you shout. Believe it or not, I ALSO struggle sometimes. Just because I’m skinny, doesn’t mean I always get it right. Yes, I AM a fitness coach, BUT I’m also a human. All the struggles around food and body affect me as well. I’m not immune. And I don’t have all the answers.
What I do know, is that I don’t believe in diets. I also don’t think restricting too much is a good idea, as it is bound to have a counter effect. If you tell yourself you’re never allowed to have another Gosia cupcake, you’ll probably want it worse than ever before. What I also know, is that we don’t always have control over the changes our bodies go through – there are so many things that are out of our control. But the thing we CAN focus on is our behaviour. The things that eventually add up to a longer, more fulfilling life.
Mindset remains the most important element of weight loss. Starting from a place of self-compassion. Listen, don’t roll your eyes. This is important. Don’t deny yourself foods you love. Focus on eating in a way that nourishes you and makes you feel strong, confident, and energised. So, yes, no problem if you eat pap – I was actually just supposed to rephrase that question last Wednesday, by asking, “do you eat a plate full of pap three times a day…?” If the answer is still, “of course, and I love it!”, then, sigh, Houston, we have a problem.
…I heard a piano teacher once say, “Practice makes progress.” I almost corrected her obviously misplaced sentiment but realized the beauty of it instead. When we focus on progress, instead of perfection, the pressure is off. It’s saying to yourself, “I want to be better than I was yesterday, knowing that I won’t ever be perfect. I want to be teachable…”
So, yes, the struggle is real, but it’s not the end of the world. The trick is to make the struggle work for you. Yes, the struggle is real, but you are not alone. Yes, the struggle is real, but weight loss doesn’t have to be a quick fix. And winter doesn’t have to be a roadblock; it can be an opportunity. Yes, the struggle is real, but the struggle can also start the story. It can motivate us to rewrite a new story.
And yes, the struggle IS real, but the real struggle is about you: you, a person who has to learn to live in the real world, to inhabit her own skin, to know her own heart, to stop waiting for life to begin.
Next time you are struggling, remember that we all are, to some degree. Sometimes more, sometimes less. The struggle IS real, and the struggle can be good. As Alex Elle, the famous wellness educator writes in her book “Neon Soul”: “I am thankful for my struggle, because without it, I wouldn’t have stumbled upon my strength…”
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0607
PS (Next weekend I’ll be in Stellenbosch, so there won’t be a Blog. If you’re a challenge member, please send me the beautiful quote by Alex Elle before Monday evening at 20.00)