Last Sunday we heard the sad news that the beautiful, frail singer, Nightbirde, who stole our hearts on America’s Got Talent, passed away. This morning I wanted to write that we also mourn the death of 43-year old Ilze Cooper, a much-loved member of our community and former member of our studio, who lost her hard battle with cancer on Tuesday.
But then I read this anonymous quote: “When someone dies of cancer, we say ‘they lost their battle with cancer,’ as if between the two of them, cancer was the better, the stronger, and the smarter. But if you think about it, if I die from cancer, then cancer dies too. And if I survive cancer, cancer loses its battle with me. Cancer never wins.”
You know, when someone close to us dies of cancer, it surely feels like a win for cancer. But I saw my mom redefine the word ‘bravery’ during the 5 years of her hard cancer battle, and as much as the disease took its claim on her frail body, we all experienced how she just grew stronger and stronger with silent courage.
Today, as much as I still miss my mother, I know that the American poet, Dr Robert L Lynn was right when he wrote:
“Cancer is so limited:
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.”
But, I was deeply moved by something else as well this week…We are in week 4 of our 6-week New Year Challenge, and although it’s really a short fitness journey, a few members still opted to come for a second assessment, an evaluation after the first three weeks.
Hannelie was Ilze’s best friend, and I assumed that she wouldn’t feel up for her assessment appointment on Tuesday…and yet, she came. Tearful and heart-broken but brave, she came. She also attended step class on Tuesday evening and pitched for our step recording on Thursday. She even made time to share our Facebook post yesterday, only hours before Ilze’s funeral. I haven’t said anything to Hannelie about this, but I really, really thought I should write about it.
It’s not that Hannelie is trying to act indifferently – we can see and sense her pain. It’s written all over her whole being. Unmistakably. But I have also come to know Hannelie’s character very well over the past few years. She’s not a quitter. And more and more I’m beginning to realize – I learn from my members just as much as they learn from me, and I have a responsibility to share this.
I see it specifically with our step classes – how, when girls decide not to quit, sticking to it, coming to class week in and week out, refusing to give in to the tough routines and frustration, how it leads to mastering the moves and eventually enjoying the workout full-blast.
The famous English footballer, Johnny Dent, once said: “An excuse is the most expensive brand of self-defeat you will ever purchase.”
I think we feel the need to make excuses to quit when we mistake lessons for failure. There is a huge difference between giving up after a great effort and not even trying. As Idowu Koyenikan writes in his bestseller, ”Wealth for all”: “If you quit on the process, you are quitting on the result…”
Not quitting is the first step to overcoming. I guess then it’s also about making sure that you don’t see the failure before it has even happened…Do you realize how often we self-sabotage ourselves simply by our lack of self-belief?
We tend to look at others and assume they got their success overnight, but in reality, it took hard work and a lot of failing to get where they did. Did you know that Harrison Ford was a carpenter until he was 30-years old before he became an actor? Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team – a heart-breaking experience for any teenager. And then he became one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the game.
Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper job as a young man, for a lack of good ideas. His first animation company went bankrupt in 1921. In fact, he had to restart several times after that before he finally became successful. And what happened to Fred Astaire after his first audition? He got this feedback from the director: “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Not handsome. Can dance a little.”
…I was a bit sceptical when Sonnet told me she was practising for the Midmar Mile. Needless to say – Sonnet swam and finished her first Midmar Mile on Sunday 13 February, simply because she promised herself that she would and could.
The award-winning author Frank Sonnenburg once said: “Every time you quit, you make it easier to tell yourself that quitting is acceptable.” You see, the thing about quitting is, you’ll always wonder “what if.” What if I’d just stuck with it? What if I hadn’t given up?
I don’t know what your specific dream is, but before you decide to quit, just imagine how your life could transform and where you could be in a year, two years, or five years from now. We’ve been led to believe that struggle is something to be ashamed of. It’s not! Struggle actually builds character and is there to serve us.
Quitting doesn’t fix anything. Ever. Maybe for a moment you’ll feel relief, but the satisfaction is fleeting. Whether you’re trying to quit drinking, or trying to lose weight, the misery will be back, one way or another, if you choose to give up.
Start by not being so hard on yourself, but by holding yourself accountable with small things – being on time for class, facing the results of your InBody assessment, finishing the Fitness Challenge you have entered, using the gym membership you have signed up for.
We all hit points when it seems like going on is next to impossible. When you’re already overwhelmed, it’s easy to talk yourself into giving up. But giving up too soon could cause you to miss out on success. You never know how soon you might start seeing progress if you hang in there and give it a little more time.
Each failure teaches you. Each attempt can give you valuable insight into how to do better next time. You’re not doomed to repeat the past. You’re given an invaluable gift: the ability to think about and learn from your past. That past may be the very thing that give you the future you want.
Therefore:
“Don’t quit.
When your latest efforts fail, don’t quit. When you come in dead last, don’t quit. When it seems an uphill fight to keep going, don’t quit. When you can’t see any possible way to achieve your goals, don’t quit. When your last supporter is you alone, don’t quit. When discouragement and depression seem your constant companion, don’t quit. When you feel like quitting, don’t quit.
Victory means never ever quitting.”
Richelle E. Goodrich
If we die from cancer, the cancer dies too. If we quit, our dream dies too. Until we exit from this earth, there is always hope. So don’t quit. Ever. Period.
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507