Most of us are suckers for hold-your-breath-goosebumps movie scenes…You know, those ones that reduce you to tears and bring your world to a stand-still, if only for a moment. For me, that triumphant stage debut of the Swedish opera star Jenny Lind, played by Rebecca Ferguson in the movie “The Greatest Showman”, was such a moment…
“All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it`ll
Never be enough
Never be enough…”
…Never enough. Last Monday evening I was thinking about these words when the 20.00 news bulletin featured that greedy taxi driver who had squashed 57 children, yes 57, into his Quantum minibus. The normal 14-seater passenger requirement was not enough – no he pushed the limits all the way to impoundment…As the successful Indonesian economist Toba Beta states in his book “Master of stupidity”: “Greed is a little bit more than enough…”
I was thinking – isn’t that exactly how we tend to treat life? Whether it`s stuff, money, time or goals, we so often feel like there`s never enough of it. And those times that we DO experience feeling good enough, having enough, being enough and doing enough – they seldom last long…And who can blame us? We live in a “stack up” culture. After someone asks you what you`re doing, even if you tell them you`re trying to reach your target weight or taking part in a fitness challenge, the person who`s asking says, “And what are you doing next?” In the good old days, the greeting was “How are you?”, and even if you were in chemo you`d say, “Fine” and that was that.
Today, if we haven’t got a “Next”, we’re socially dead! Why is enough never enough? Are we afraid that if we aren’t accomplishing something, all the time, we’ll just grind to a halt…? Or is it because of this performance-based culture we live in? If someone makes the winning shot, they are terrific. If they miss, they are a failure. No matter the area of life, it`s all about how one performs. And excels…Constantly.
No wonder psychologists have given this phenomenon a name! Yes, they call it “Imposter Syndrome” and have proved that 70% of all people experience this at some point in their lives. It comes down to this – despite being successful, one feels as if you’re not worthy of the things you achieve and live in fear that you’ll be exposed as an imposter, undeserving of your accomplishments…
Apparently, all of us fall victim to this from time to time – being really, really mean to ourselves and relentlessly comparing ourselves to other people, no matter how many times we read or hear about how good enough we are. Too fat, too old, too broke, too single — Never. Enough. The real rub of the thing is that we’re also often told not to dwell on our flaws too much, but instead practice self-love with a smile on our faces. So…hate yourself but try not to, society tells us. Love yourself but strive for an ideal at the same time. A weird mouthful, huh? It sounds so contradicting, as fiction writer Denise Jaden says in her novel “Never enough”: “They say you shouldn’t try to be someone you`re not, but what about someone you almost are…”?
Why am I making such a fuss about this? Because our New Year Challenge is starting in a week, and I’m trying to convince my members that big goals are achievable, that a great, healthy, abundant life is possible, without sounding like an over-zealous game show host…
There’s such a fine line between good enough and never enough. What does good enough look like for you? What does good enough even mean? Good enough for what? To whom? How much would you need to achieve to be enough? What would you have to get or be to be enough? I don`t really know, but maybe, in our journey to become better, we should simply start focusing on what we do have instead of dwelling on what`s missing. Concentrating on what we have control of right now. Even the small things. Especially the small things.
I think on-line coach and writer Lori Deschene is spot-on when she says: “We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love…” You first need to remind and convince yourself that there`s more right with you than wrong with you.
You cannot fully feel satisfied with where you`re going until you can appreciate and accept where you are.
You are good enough…
You are enough.
But that does not mean that you’ve worked long enough or tried hard enough. It`s simply who you ARE, and that`s enough.
You are enough does not mean that you are a final product, complete and finished.
You are enough as you are, mess and all, beautiful and broken, showing up for your life every day. “You are enough” means that you don`t have to strive to become more valid, more worthy, more acceptable or more loved. You already are.
You are enough doesn’t mean you’re settling for less, or that you`re not going to challenge yourself to do great things. Progression is always an option, and one that I hope you choose with open eyes, and a heart that is willing to adjust as opportunities emerge.
May you travel through 2020, giving your most earnest effort. And in all times keep in mind, that good enough is not to be confused with mediocracy when it’s your best.
You were enough before, you are enough now, and you will continue to be enough as you become more of who you were made to be. And believing that, when the world is whispering otherwise, is brave…
Your hands COULD hold the world. And it IS enough. Because you are enough…
Yours in fitness
Mirna
082 779 0507